Not so linear progress..

Wren 2 small

I’m writing this post down so that once life settles down again (once the renovation work on our new house/new studio is complete) and someone going through something similar asks me how I managed and coped I will have the truth to hand to them, rather than how your memory alters the past sometimes and you forget how hard something was…

It has been over a year now of selling our old house and doing renovation work on our new house. It has been a year of chaos, frustration, excitement and delirious laughter at how smoothly I envisioned it would go. Or at least that it would be complete by June… then September.. then Christmas?? Spring? Ha. I have been a lesson in how not to manifest your dreams. As soon as I stepped into our new home on our first viewing it was literally like the air matched me somehow. If soulmates exist this house may be it :/ . And I naively told the estate agent that.. I thought about it non stop – I used to sit at our old window  desperately looking over the hill knowing my new house was just sitting on the other side, waiting for me. Could not help myself. I wanted it sooo badly. And finally after several ups and downs and twists and turns it was ours. If I’d just noticed the laburnum tree at the entrance (it was autumn so not in flower) I would have known the universe was holding it for me. When I was a kid the laburnum tree in our garden was known as ‘mine’ as they flowered on my birthday.

Maybe then I would have relaxed a bit more.

Anyway, I bet anyone who has gone through a home renovation will attest to the frustration of schedules not being kept to, added costs etc etc not being so much fun. It’s hard to let it go and trust all will be well. I spent a lot of time very irritated and annoyed at the progress or lack of. But without going all toxic positivity on you there did come a point where it all became a little hilarious. Where I finally understood how fruitless my irritation was when trying to control when tradespeople will get things done or my dismay when things crop up that could not have been envisaged a month ago for whatever reason. I’m not saying you sit back and do nothing but I feel so much lighter letting things progress as they do, accepting the unpacked boxes will be there for a little while longer, and that my clothes will continue to be wardobe-less and dusty for a time.

Yes its terribly frustrating, it’s also pretty laugh out loud funny when you are so desperately invested in something being done on a certain day and then no one turns up to do it.. It’s one of those multiple truth things – where more than one truth exist about a certain situation. Maybe I don’t make any sense but to me it’s so interesting how humour and frustration can co exist.

So I’m still here, but still waiting for my space to get stuck into ceramics again. I can feel an excited ball of pressure in my chest at the thought of making again. So many ideas and plans. It will be a little while longer before I can make anything new, but until then I am here, covered in a layer of plaster dust and wrapping orders of my current stock (whilst surrounded by my unpacked boxes of which I no longer have any idea of the contents!).

2021 studs set copy

Cow and calf wallpiece cropped 2

 Thanks for reading,