This morning I went to another slaughterhouse vigil with Manchester Pig Save. I’ve been tired this week and didn’t feel at my best emotional strength-wise, and trust me you need that there. I really always try and feel the hope in most situations. I don’t want to feel despondent so I really make an effort to think of the helpers and the goodness in humanity for the most part. I work hard to not get attached to judgemental thoughts about peoples food choices as they don’t make me feel good either. Whenever I feel myself getting angry or deeply frustrated I bring myself out telling myself I can only do what I can do and plenty of others are working really hard to dismantle oppressive systems of which includes animal exploitation.
But today I am struggling.
At the vigils which I’ve began attending recently (you can read about my first one here and my second one here) we simply bear witness to the process of taking animals to slaughter. We document it and we share it. Thanks to the hard work of activists before me there is a good relationship with the security guards and truck drivers at this particular slaughterhouse who allow the trucks to stop for a few minutes where we attempt to offer some comfort to the animals before their last moments.
At each vigil I’ve attended so far there are particular animal faces you remember when you head home. They are replayed in your mind recurrently and as you go to sleep. Eyes that have focused on yours for those final few minutes before the truck drives in. Today a terrified young pig tried hopelessly to get out of the truck and I just stood there witnessing without being able to help him/her.
So I’m feeling defeated and I can’t bring myself out of it. I know that by now at least their terror is over as hours have passed since I left and I hope those little faces I met and little ears I stroked are at peace. I hope they’re somewhere enjoying the sun on their skin and the grass under their feet. I wish I could shake people into understanding the unimaginable cruelty animals face in animal agriculture whether thats for their flesh, milk or their eggs and for the desperate effect that has on climate change. But I can’t. I know I’ll feel better soon, I know how to take care of myself when I feel like this. And I know how important it is to give yourself that rest and recharge so that you can continue spreading a message of compassion for all who tread our planet. Although I feel defeated, I know that it’s temporary and will pass. And as ever I’m immensely grateful to have had the privilege to have been surrounded by a group of animal and environmental activists who also want to create meaningful change.
A rest first, and then time to continue.
Thanks for reading and heres a few images of the vigil below. You can see more on todays instagram stories too.
Edited to add – This slaughterhouse has since been closed down. I’m not sure of the reasons but I choose to be hopeful that demand for eating animals is reducing. Their little faces will forever remain in my memory and I’ll always remember the faces of the young pigs who lost their lives here and of the other activists who tried to help them.
