I am what I am, nothing more and nothing less.

Observing nature, and her lesson on moving beyond failure.

One morning a week I get up early and take a walk through the woods to a little swim spot. After a very quick and determined dip in the freezing Yorkshire river I sit on a rock with my hot tea and a notebook. It tends to be the time in the week when I feel the most inspired to write. Sometimes when I sit to write to you I have an intended topic in my head I’ve been mulling over throughout the week. But somewhat strangely when I do begin my mind and my pen work together on something completely different. This was one of those occasions. And perhaps a glimpse into the idea that we are all just vessels for something much bigger than what we ordinarily see.

I’m sitting observing nature, the river, the birds the trees. Observing nature is observing life being life. Life being itself, oneself. It cannot be anything other than what it is. Even when external influences challenge or affect it in some way it becomes only what it can be in light of that. It cannot be anything else.

When I think back on instances in my life that I would label as failure, now I look back and see how it could not have been anything other than what it was, it could not have gone any other way. Who am I to disagree with the genetic and environmental factors that make up my ancestors physical bodies, their multitude of personal experiences, which now makes me. I am perfectly designed and unique to another, I may react to a situation so differently to you, with your own perfect genetic make up and eons of generational experiences.

I like to think that I have the potential to change for the better, to make more compassionate life choices for myself and other beings. But if I can it is because every minute that has gone before me and the particular environment I find myself in has set me up for this very moment. Judgement is gone and I realise I am no better or worse than another.

I think this analogy gifted to us from nature is important to consider so that we can understand that our expectations put on others may not often be fruitful. Not everyone is capable of the change you desire in that moment. When you are ready for change you are simply ready for change.

On the phone to my friend this week, overwhelmed by the worlds negativity she asked me what would I deem as success in my life. My answer was I want to earn enough money so that I can significantly donate to and support human and animal charities and organisations. And she showed me how I can impact other beings now. By tending to my garden in a way that provides shelter and food to birds and creatures was her suggestion. I’ve added to that aside from donating 10% of my sales which has been my practise for some time now to also loving and caring for my little rescue dog, picking up litter, abstaining from animal exploitation and being mindful in my interactions with all I meet. It still sounds small when you think of the enormity of the worlds problems but I know it is all I have.

I am no better or worse than another. Could my past ‘failures’ have gone any other way? I don’t think so. I am simply responding to the centuries of experiences and the external forces that make up this very moment. What can *I* do now, is the only place to start.

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